CROSSROAD - TIME FOR CHANGE..

7 Dec 2008, arrived at Singapore from batam trip. Lunching with trip buddies(Dien, Janice, Dan, bestfriend lynn) at harbor front's food junction and as of usual, gossiping session after lunching (what a great dessert..) Throughout craps and fishes, we engaged into the topic of having kids and nursing kids (be it your own or others). Myself as an individual simply dont buy the idea of having kids of my own and strongly against the idea of baby-sitting kids for others. Because i know myself that i'm impatient towards playful kids and i have zero confidence in doing a great job. if u were to leave a kid with me, u would sure find them dead. Well, after hearing my point of view about kids, bestfriend commented that i'm being extremely "CRUEL", im a cruel person by nature and properly i would need to grow up more to be more mature so as to love kids. Hmm, i was being disappointed, not just "very" disappointed but "extremely". She someone that i have expectations in and to know me the best. Where are all the support and understanding? u mean "CRUEL"? HELLO, KNOCK KNOCK.. Well, u might think that way and/ or in fact i do admit the level of cruelty in me but do u have to say that in front of a bunch of friends? and making it feel as if its like a joke? Well bestfriend, if u were to read this blog, let me tell you this, its not a joke, its an insulation(big time). Why can't i be someone of myself? If i say i dont adore kids means i dont adore kids, why do u have to force the idea into me saying that "Well, i think Ray would have to grow up more, he's too young to make such judgements" "He obviously needs to be more mature". You'r always telling me that, bestfriends are mend to understand each other. Well, i'm not seeing it coming from you babe. Someone that used to be important in my life but not now anymore. COME ON, give me a break, i need a big one. This is not the first time you'r doing this to your bestfriend here, when ever i bring u along for friend's gathering, i'm always your point of joke(if u did realise, if u don't than i'm so sorry for you). Bestfriends? "Best of friends forever?" its been 4 years of our friendship and i had been telling myself to tolerate and keep trying. When u randomly ask for movie, i rush down by cab. when u said to meet after work, im always there. I seriously thinks that i deserve better, at least for once. Tolerance for you? Not anymore, perhaps lets just stay mutual. As good as it is.. People reading this, lets just think that i'm being petty or "WAT SO EVER" but you know what, "ITS LIKE I DONT REALLY GIVE A DAMN !!" hell true, thats from RAY.. Surprised? na.. i'm always myself.. Life goes on even if all are dead and you'r the one and only standing, you can't really ask "Nothing" to be your friend, can you? I really do appreciate friends and stuff, its not that i dont trust them. its the matter of "Am i or are we taking Ray for granted? " If you'r not, than u'r for sure on my list.. =)

*Shout outs to Dien, Janice, Dan, Ailing and gilien: Super love the birthday gift and so feel like wearing that t-shirt to streets, showing off to strangers.. LOL.. "Look, my bunch of close friends actually do that for me" I wish this t-shirt would really last me for a lifetime.. What a memorable 21st birthday.. (both mean and happy ways.)

Cheers,
RAYS